A Writer’s Paris.

How can I ask love to hold the mystery
When just look at me
It’s all push and pull collateral
I don’t want to be the one who gets the next surprise
I’ll plan it out this time
Though I used to think that things were meant to be

So farewell to the old me
Farewell to the old me
My life is working better now
It’s always changing anyhow

I danced a lot of nights until the grass was wet
It wasn’t over yet
‘Round ’bout 3 a.m. you made a friend
And I followed a lot of vital crazy thoughts
Because it’s where the meaning was
And I tried to find it every other way

So farewell to the old me
Farewell to the old me
My life is getting better now
But always changing anyhow

But I can turn on the charm
Show them nothing more
Than what I’ve done before
It’s nothing much new
But it’ll do
‘Cause I don’t wanna be the one who makes you laugh out loud
I wanna make you proud
And you always said you knew what I could be

So farewell to the old me
Farewell to the old me
Farewell to the old me
My life is working better now
But always changing anyhow
Time
And the old me
Farewell to the old me
Farewell…

Memory (Sugarcult)

I am thinking it’s a sign
That the freckles in our eyes
Are mirror images and
When we kiss they’re perfectly aligned

And I have to speculate
That God himself did make us into
Corresponding shapes like puzzles pieces
From the clay

True, it may seem like a stretch
But it’s thoughts like this
That catch my troubled head
When you’re away, when I am missing you to death

When you were out there on the road
For several weeks of shows
And when you scan the radio
I hope this song will guide you home

They will see us waving from such great heights
“Come down now,” they’ll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
“Come down now,” but we’ll stay

I’ve tried my best to leave
This all on your machine
But the persistent beat
Sounded thin upon listening

That frankly will not fly
You will hear the shrillest highs
And lowest lows with the windows down
When this is guiding you home

They will see us waving from such great heights
“Come down now,” they’ll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
“Come down now,” but we’ll say…

This may never start.
We could fall apart.
And I’d be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart’s beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.
I’ll tear us apart.
Can I be your enemy?
Losing half a year.
Waiting for you here
I’d be your anything.

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart’s beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.
Tearing out my heart.
I’d be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
(I’d be your memory)
Feelings disappear.
Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart’s beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.
We could fall apart
And I’d be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?
Can I be your memory?

Goodnight and Go (Imogen Heap)

Say goodnight and go.

Skipping beats, blushing cheeks I am struggling
Daydreaming, bed scenes in the corner café
And then i’m left in bits recovering tectonic tremblings
You get me every time

Why d’ya have to be so cute?
It’s impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It’s bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go

Follow you home, you’ve got your headphones on and you’re dancing
Got lucky, beautiful shot you taking everything off watch the curtains wide open
Then you fall in the same routine flicking through the TV relaxed and reclining
And you think you’re alone…

Why d’ya have to be so cute?
It’s impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It’s bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go

One of these days, you’ll miss your train and come stay with me
We’ll have drinks and talk about things, any excuse to stay awake with you
You’ll sleep here, i’ll sleep there, but then the heating may be down again
at my convenience
we’d be good, we’d be great together.

[Sigh]
Go!

Say goodnight and go,
why’s it always always
goodnight and go
Darling not again
Goodnight and go

Let Go (Imogen Heap)

Drink up baby down
Hmm, are you in or are you out
Leave your things behind
‘Cause it’s all going off without you

Excuse me too busy
Writing your tragedy
These mishaps you bubble-wrap
When you’ve no idea what you’re like

So let go
So let go
Jump in
Oh well what you waiting for
It’s alright
‘Cause there’s beauty in the breakdown

So let go
Let it go
Just get in
Oh it’s so amazing here
It’s alright
‘Cause there’s beauty in the breakdown

It gains the more it gives
And it rises with the fall
So hand me that remote
Can’t you see that all that stuff’s a sideshow

Such boundless pleasure
We’ve no time for later now
You can’t await your own arrival
You’ve twenty seconds to comply

So let go
So let go
Jump in
Oh well what you waiting for
It’s alright
‘Cause there’s beauty in the breakdown

So let go
Yeah let it go
Just get in
Oh it’s so amazing here
It’s alright
‘Cause there’s beauty in the breakdown

So let go
So let go
Jump in
Oh well what you waiting for
It’s alright
‘Cause there’s beauty in the breakdown

So let go
Let it go
Just get in
Oh it’s so amazing here
It’s alright
‘Cause there’s beauty in the breakdown

Breakdown
‘Cause there’s beauty in the breakdown
So let it go
Oh it’s so amazing here
‘Cause there’s beauty in the breakdown

Little Wonders (Rob Thomas)

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don’t you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don’t mind
if it’s me you need to turn to
we’ll get by,
it’s the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

all of my regret
will wash away some how
but i can not forget
the way i feel right now

in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these small hours, still remain,
still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain

Today I didn’t get to:

go to the beach
buy new clothes
get a new haircut
buy a ‘new me’
eat at a fancy fancy restaurant
go out dancing
go out drinking
travel to another country
lay in bed until the sun went down
order in pizza in a hotel room
buy a new ‘toy’

stuff i thought i’d get to do this year.

I was only able to:

have lunch with my family
play with my dog
give my dog a bath
fly a kite
run barefoot in the grass
take fabulous photos of the sun setting
eat ice cream on campus with my nieces and nephews
go on a ‘joyride’ with my folks
go online to check the countless messages my friends and family around the globe have sent me

and i realize, i really have so much despite having so little (the irony!) and among men, am truly blessed.

thank you to all the great friends and family i have. you guys rock! thank you for spending a part of your day with me, either by being physically present, by text, by note, by phone call - you’ve made my 23rd very special.

another year forward! e.m.b.r.a.c.e 2007!

Tila (Lani Misalucha)

Tila inulan ang puso ko
Nang nalamig ang ‘yong pagsuyo
O bakit nagbago ang ‘yong pagtingin
Parang malamig na panahon

At nang ikaw ay kinausap ko
Habang ang ulan ay bumubuhos
Nakita ko sayong mga mata
Na gaganda din ang panahon

Chorus
Tila hihina rin ang ulan
Tila lilipas din ang bagyo
Kahit madilim ang kalawakan may nagtatagon
Sinag sa ulap

Tila inulan ang puso ko
Nang parang naglaho ang pagibig mo
O bakit ka kaya nagbago
Sinlamig ng panahon

Chorus
Tila hihina rin ang ulan
Tila lilipas din ang bagyo
Liliwanag din ang kalangitan
At ang araw ay sisikat nang muli

Bridge
Ang karimlan ay haharapin
Matatanaw ko rin
Bughaw na langit
Umaasang ang pagibig mo ay magbabalik
Pawiin mo ang lungkot sa puso ko
Kahit madilim ang kalawakan
May nagtatagong sinag sa ulap

Chorus
Tila hihina rin ang ulan
Tila lilipas din ang bagyo
Liliwanag din ang kalangitan
At ang araw ay sisikat nang muli